15 Traffic Rules that Delhi Lives By...

Driving in Delhi can be a pain... literally!

I have the misfortune of indulging in this activity almost on a daily basis and I have come to recognize some of the rules that our most gracious Delhi-walas live by, especially when on the road...

1. The Other Side Law: - If my side of the road has a traffic jam, then I can start driving on the wrong side of the road, and all incoming cars will be rerouted via Meerut.
2. The No Queue Rule: If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way.
3. The Mind Over Matter Law: If a red light is not working, four cars from different directions can easily pass through one another.
4. The Auto Axiom: If I indicate which way I am going to turn my vehicle, it is an information security leak.
5. The In Spit Of Thing: The more I lean out of my car or bus, and the harder I spit, the stronger the roads become.
6. The Cinema Hall Fact: If I get a call on my mobile phone, the film automatically goes into pause mode.
7. The Brotherhood Law: If I want to win an argument, I need only to repeatedly suggest that the other person has illicit relations with his sister.
8. The Baraat/ Marriage Right: When I'm on the road to marriage, all the roads in the city belong to me. To ME.
9. The Heart Of Things: If I open enough buttons on my shirt, the pretty girl at the bus stop can see through my mal-deformed chest into the depths of my soul.
10. The Name Game: It is very important for the driver behind me to memorize the nicknames of my children.
11. Parking Up The Wrong Tree: When I double-park my car, the road automatically widens so that the traffic is not affected.
12. The Chill Bill Move: When I park and block someone else's car I am giving him a chance to pause, relax, chill and take a few moments off from his rushed day.
13. The Ogling Stare: If you don't ogle and drool at every hot Chic that passes by, you're gay.
14. The Bus Law: If I stop my bus at the correct place near the bus stop, the city will explode and blow into 6 million pieces.
15. The VIP Rule:There are only 3 important persons in this city -Me, I, Myself !